| (no subject) |
[Jul. 22nd, 2008|03:04 pm] |
I've been kind of thinking lately about writing for a while now. Writing a kind of collection of essays a bit like David Sedaris or Robert Fulghum or something like that. Kind of take experiences from real life and write about them and draw some kind of moral conclusion with a healthy dose of humor.
It'll probably be one of those books that ends up full of sand from everyone reading it on the beach, but that sounds good to me.
I'm only 21 though, so I think I'll wait a while and get some experiences under my belt before I start laughing at the mistakes that still sting a little bit. I freely admit that the sting is fading though, which is great.
hmm |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 10th, 2008|11:45 pm] |
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i don't think i've ever felt this alone before. |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 10th, 2008|12:48 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | busy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | regina specktor - samson | ] |
"Let us go early to the vineyards to see if the vines have budded, if their blossoms have opened, and if the pomegranates are in bloom — there I will give you my love."
Song of Solomon 7:12
My latest obsession has been to one day own a vineyard. I don't have a lot of time to elaborate on it right now, but in doing a Bible research project, I came across this verse.
It made me smile. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 20th, 2008|09:00 pm] |
On a global level, I think that there should be socialized medicine. That way people can still retain their cultural ways of life and still get adequate health care and increase their quality of life.
I want a bonsai baobab.
I like kitties, especially Panthera tigris.
Hooray for Sweeney Todd! |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 3rd, 2007|02:50 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  exanimate | ] |
omg
the effing tiger paper is over. it's 600 words too short, but i've already said the same thing three different ways and it's time to move on with my life.
dear god, make it go away.
GOODNIGHT. |
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| is speaking pathetic bastard, actually |
[Dec. 1st, 2007|02:38 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  sad | ] |
I've just run out of SBP to distract me from my papers and finals and exams and projects, which is possibly the saddest thing to ever happen to me ever.
I am a fantastic nerd, but Sirius and Remus, I love the pair of you and I wish you all manner of ridiculous gifts addressed to the both of you at the flat you share with one bed.
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/community.gif) shoebox_project is love. |
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| Music Is Life, Beauty Is Religion, Human Is Divine |
[Nov. 28th, 2007|11:50 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  euphoric | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Ode to Joy | ] |
It has been a rather long time since I've posted. Unfortunately, I've been patronizing Myspace and abusing and neglecting dear lj other than for my slashly wanderings.
There are so many other things worth doing right now other than school work. Which is, of course, the point. There is so much beauty in the world! So many gorgeous locales and gorgeous people (and I mean, truly gorgeous people, inside and out) and there are so many things that I have to lay my eyes upon. It's exhausting, it really is. I'm not gonna lie. But it's what I love. It's really honestly my greatest passion in the world, looking at beautiful things. Photography can induce euphoria, I am not even kidding. The whole deal, the buzzing molecules everywhere, the vibes, the auras....it's like a far more intelligent and intellectual Dazed and Confused featuring beautiful, beautiful, beautiful things.
For example, in Washington D.C. at the Corcoran Gallery there is an amazing show of Ansel Adams and Annie Liebowitz, and let me just say, someone might as well have spiked my pop tarts. Adams' photography...is easily the most beautiful thing I've ever had the privilege to witness. It ceases to be about the Sierra Nevada and Yosemite and mountains and trees and valleys and lakes and just becomes the patterns in angel song in black and white and tones of blue and sepia. The beauty of the grain in a log is captured in overwhelming magnificence by the eye of a talented and meticulous photographer.
I can almost hear the white noise just thinking about it.
And it isn't the name that makes the art. The art is there and loud and screaming and silent and patient and simply waiting for a viewer no matter whose eyes guided it and created it.
There is so much beauty.
Annie Liebowitz's style is so different, but no less compelling. She was a commercial photographer, and that much shows in her exhibit. There's everything from gut-wrenching photographs of Susan Sontag, but also very personal and disarming portraits of celebrities, a famous sequence thereof is the pregnant Demi Moore clad only in diamonds. Another personal shot of Kate Moss with Johnny Depp surreptitiously hiding behind his long hair. Robert de Niro is featured as well, near Brad Pitt almost unrecognizably uncomposed. Not only are there personal and commercial portraits, there are heartbreaking photographs of tragedies in Sarajevo.
Liebowitz brings photography right up to the viewer and creates a reaction. It's beautiful and raw and painful and a little uncomfortable, but that is why it is indeed so amazing. Haha, like life.
PicturesOfWalls is also beautiful (mostly ;)). |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 17th, 2007|03:38 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  sleepy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | led zep - thank you | ] |
retail therapy is only good on paydays, i've decided. hooray for totally shallow shit!
i got:
new mascara. my old one still is better, but the new one is of course not so gross.
new blush and bronzer. it's winter, but i don't care.
foundation and powder because i didn't have any.
a whole lot of chocolate.
if i feel like shit, by golly, i am going to look fabulous.
the most attractive guy on campus has a girl around him all the time now. alas. he is still beautiful.
haha, the funny thing is, i just don't do the girly thing, even though i just blew money on chocolate and make up. my face is tricked out with my new mascara, glam shimmer eyes in a champagne kind of colour, demure lips, hair an elegant mess in strawberry blonde. my shirt's a grey v-neck t that's cut for curves with a men's black patterned button down over it. basic jeans. black suede shoes. glasses and nose ring and that's me.
i still want a three-piece pinstripe suit. i'd love it.
i'm tired. so i'm going to bed. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 14th, 2007|09:37 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  exhausted | ] |
brain = no.
I've had the longest day. It started with a meeting at 8:30 AM and just ended with another meeting. I don't want to talk about it.
I have no brain! It hurts! And then it dribbles out my ears.
I wish I was articulate enough to actually write down my thoughts, but alas.
I want to make my own clothes soon. I like fuzzy soft warm things. I am tired.
Oh. Life. Blar. |
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| God |
[Nov. 11th, 2007|11:45 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  contemplative | ] |
| [ | music |
| | jesu, joy of man's desiring | ] |
The necessary evil is still doing the will of God. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 30th, 2007|11:26 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  horny | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Eve 6 - Hokis | ] |
One phrase:
GENDER
BENDER |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 25th, 2007|04:18 am] |
Dumbledore and Grindelwald?
Sexy blond with a side of ginger?
Yes, please. |
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| something like a plan |
[Oct. 14th, 2007|03:20 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  calm | ] |
| [ | music |
| | coldplay - a whisper | ] |
Here's the deal:
I'm going to graduate from this hell hole, but I'm also going to take it the fuck easy for the rest of the year. No more passionate outbursts, no more pits of despair. This is me, and that is this fucked up school and one is just not going to define the other. If SGA gets to be too much, then I'm going to quit, and it would make sense because my course load is truly massive and it's just going to get bigger next semester.
I'm going to try to relax, at any rate, because I think I have a plan. I'm going to finish up here and get my B.A. because I've almost got it and transferring means that I'll lose credits. So I'll just take from this school what I can and then get the hell out of dodge.
In the summer, I'm doing my Practicum and turning in the hours and getting my diploma. Hopefully I'll also learn how to make my own clothes and play the piano and/or guitar.
In the fall of next year, I'll apply for JMU as an undergrad for their art history, digital media, and language programs. I want to be marketable, and a commercial artist is marketable. This degree will help me not only with photography and digital imaging, but also if I ever wanted to branch off and find a tattooist apprenticeship. I also want to learn Italian and French, and keep my German strong enough to be useful.
Once I'm done at JMU, I want to apply for the Peace Corps and spend 2 years overseas. French will work well with that because French is in demand for certain areas of the world. I hope to invest the stipend upon returning 2 years later and get their help paying for a Master's Degree, hopefully in Art History at UVA and get my teaching license and hopefully my doctorate, but that's all up in the air. Upon returning, I might not want to pursue that route anymore. However, I still think it's brilliant to take groups of students to Italy to see the Renaissance masters' works, I just want to give something back as well. The rest is up to God.
That's my vague-ish framework right now.
Hopefully, with this light at the end of the tunnel, the tunnel that's swiftly becoming wide open road, this school will seem more tolerable. There's hope where there wasn't any at all before.
A Continuously Startling, Verdant and Glistering Humdrum is a beautiful oxymoron. |
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| Must Love Dogs |
[Oct. 9th, 2007|03:03 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  amused | ] |
| [ | music |
| | the seatbelts - spokey dokey | ] |
So, sometimes I compose a hypothetical personals ad when I get bored or such a thought tickles my fancy.
Line I have to keep: must love dogs. |
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| Words, words, words. |
[Oct. 3rd, 2007|02:06 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  curious | ] |
THINGS I LIKE A LOT (AS IN, LIFE WOULD SUCK WITHOUT THESE):
-bikes
-yoga
-eating good food
-writing
-sleep
-reading good books/novels
-listening to music
-singing
-piercings/mods
-animals
THINGS I DON'T MIND DOING SOMETIMES (AN OCCASIONAL FROLIC, BUT PLEASANT):
-playing volleyball
-playing basketball
-walking for exercise alone
-watching movies |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 26th, 2007|10:41 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | ecstatic | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Bach | ] |
Jesu, joy of man’s desiring,
Holy wisdom, love most bright;
Drawn by Thee, our souls aspiring
Soar to uncreated light.
Word of God, our flesh that fashioned,
With the fire of life impassioned,
Striving still to truth unknown,
Soaring, dying 'round Thy throne.
Through the way where hope is guiding,
Hark, what peaceful music rings;
Where the flock, in Thee confiding,
Drink of joy from deathless springs.
Theirs is beauty’s fairest pleasure;
Theirs is wisdom’s holiest treasure.
Thou dost ever lead Thine own
In the love of joys unknown.
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 21st, 2007|12:58 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  excited | ] |
I love userpics. It's nerdy as hell, but I think that some of them are just so brilliant. I've saved a rather large collection in my wanderings about the internet when I should be studying for an exam or reading Shakespeare, or some god-awful combination of both.
I'm having waaayyy too much fun. |
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| Asking Directions |
[Sep. 17th, 2007|09:54 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  anxious | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Susie Suh - Seasons Change | ] |
Strangely enough, things are finally becoming somewhat clearer to me right now, as far as what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I am interested in Environmental Science. I am. Really.
HOWEVER. It's not the meaning of my life. I'm glad I'm aware of issues in E Sci, I'm glad that I know what over-fishing is doing to the coastal ecology and I'm glad that I can justify my slow and gradual transition to Only Organic as opposed to vegan or vegetarian. Organic, locally farmed, shade-grown is the absolute ideal, other than tilling it myself.
My coffee days might be over soon, actually. Starbucks hasn't just taken over the cities, it's quickly knocking down the rain forests as well. I don't know how to do shit with coffee, but I suppose it's time I learned and bought some organic, shade grown, fair-trade coffee.
Ack. The artificial economy and the natural environment are very much at odds with one another right now.
I digress. But, as proven, it's an interest. Human population is another hot topic, not just fish kills and mercury in the soil.
But nothing inspires euphoria quite like Botticelli and his contemporaries and his successors.
Right?
Doubt, and the benefit of it are biting me in the ass again. True, I loved every step I took on European soil. I loved the smell of the centuries-old panels of wood and the stale, ionized air of the austere museums that held treasures such that I'd only read about. It was like fairy tales were proven to me with every breath I drew. Here is the place Savonarola burned for his offenses against God and humankind, but mostly humankind. Here, Lorenzo the Magnificent strutted on his way to one of his many palazzos. Here is were he died.
In this church, this very Cathedral, Alessandro Botticelli made his confession.
One might as well have presented me with Cinderella's glass slippers and the gold spun from Rumpelstiltskin's straw.
Here is Ulrich Zwingli's helmet, still with the hole that killed him. Here is Martin Luther's study, as see where he threw an ink bottle at the wall where he thought he saw the devil. Here the Church kept its religious prisoners and in the cells, they sang hymns to the glory of God. Here is Giotto's tower and Vasari's monstrous and terrifying depiction of Dante's Inferno emblazoned in fresco on the underbelly of Brunelleschi's magical dome. Here is where Cosimo the Elder found Michelangelo as a delightfully precocious and intelligent child. Here is where Verrocchio vowed to never paint again when his young apprentice, Leonardo, created an angel of superior quality and divinity. Here is where Donatello had the freedom to create his provocative and alluringly sensual David. Here is where Artemisia Gentileschi proved them all wrong about what a woman could do and what a woman could paint. She's more famous than her father!
AH. It's all just so beautiful! Down to the gypsies crowding on the corners and pretending to be lame and the smarmy young men, so full of confidence and testosterone! And the pigeons! Oodles of pigeons! You'll never see so many pigeons as Piazza San Marco! And the Basilica di San Marco is literally paved with gold! Such splendor! Such excess! Such beauty! Ah, the sights, smells, and sounds of Italy! If only I could wander the streets as an aimless and beautiful young boy, feet in jeweled slippers and stockings of finest silk in my velvet doublet and funny felt hat! No one would dare challenge this little prince of the Mercato Centrale! Women had no such luck, hence the transsexual nature of this departure; however, they were gorgeous and captivating, these beauties in every colour and shade imaginable. And smart!
Ah, but what is history by a documentation of the women that cleaned up after the destructive nature of men. I personally have long since handed that slop bucket to the destructive nature of men.
Where do I go from here? The cold and paltry discoveries of science seem so wrong after the rich, gilded hair of goddesses and the soft murmur of the lilting Venetian Italian in prayer in San Marco, or even the reserved Florentine Italian in Santa Maria Novella.
And I am rather openly not Catholic. As a matter of fact, every now and again I get pretty royally pissed off at Catholics and go on a 2-hour ranting rampage about how the Catholic Church ruined everything to do with the the woes of the world today. Ask anyone. There's a certain beauty in the rituals of Catholicism, don't get me wrong. Crossing oneself is a beautiful way to prepare for prayer, and rosaries hold a strange and special fascination for me, not to mention of course the legions of art in and for the Catholic church.
However, I'm about as un-Catholic as they come that still claim Christianity. My dead ancestors are still kind of pissed about the Inquisition and the atrocities committed them in the Reformation.
In the end, what is it that is indeed beautiful? Could I sit through hours of lectures on the nuances of Renaissance Italy? Could I read dry and dreadful texts, such as Dante's Divine Comedy? Could I learn the liltingly Romantic Italian language?
Have I not already proven that I could? My harsh, German-trained tongue softening into rolled R's and wave-like words full of syllables rounded enough Italian to order gelato (GELATO!), per favore, and find a bathroom. I've read historical fiction of the era, I know it's not the same thing, but it's still a cultural introduction (Viva Amadeo! Viva Lestat! Viva Marius!) Oh, but the Inferno, why? WHY SO MUCH SUFFERING? Why is the Inferno the longest and most famous of his trilogy? Why not Paradiso?
ACK SEE I'M DOING IT AGAIN! I'M RAMBLING ABOUT THE RENAISSANCE WHEN I SHOULD BE READING THE BIBLE. NO REALLY, I HAVE BIBLE CLASS HOMEWORK.
WHAT AM I DOING HERE AS AN ENVIRONMENTAL SCIENCE MAJOR? WHAT IS IT THAT I'M DOING, PRECISELY?
*Sigh* Making a security net. No one needs a M.A. in Art History. It's about the least marketable degree in the world. I'd love to teach, to get all passionate and rile up my class and get them excited about the precision of Botticelli's lines and Titian's colour palette and of course Michelangelo and Leonardo and Giotto and Vasari and Artemisia.
Oh beauty. Oh love. Oh God.
Environmental Science will be marketable. I can get a job with an E Sci degree. I'd love to work with educating women about birth control and education in general to help control population growth. Believe it or not, there's a correlation between the number of women who get an education and a decrease in population growth (not a decrease in population, but a decrease in population growth). God forbid! I can't believe that one women have dominion over their own bodies that they would choose to wait to have children! What a novel fucking idea! Women! With education!
Dear Christ, we are but a stupid species. Honestly. God for-fucking-bid women decide when they want to get pregnant. God forbid there's more to life than popping out kids and hoping against hope that there'll be food enough for them all. And if their mothers are educated, then the daughters will be educated and then THEY'LL wait to have children and have fewer children.
See how this is a good thing? There are way too many fucking people on the planet. Literally.
USE A CONDOM.
Condoms are easier to change than diapers.
See? Torn. But ultimately Botticelli will win me over.
Now dammit, UVA. You all need to be clearer about your graduate programs... |
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|
| Changes Afoot for Ladyfoot |
[Sep. 12th, 2007|09:17 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  bored | ] |
CHANGES:
8g ears to 6g ears:
Hopefully when I wear flesh tunnels, I can also wear my favourite pair of CBRs in 14g 1/2"
Re-pierced 14g middle hole on my left ear. It was crooked originally. Just goes to show why I shouldn't get pierced for $12 at Wal-Mart.
14g Tongue. It's about fucking time.
I'd more than love to have my back re-pierced. I might try PTFE or some other surgical grade plastic that'll move with me a little better than the SSS staple bar.
And who knows? Maybe I'll pierce something below the belt, but that's unlikely. That would bring my holey-ness to lucky number 13 and I'm a little too superstitious for that. Now, if I get more surface piercings on my back, like that corset set that I gave up when my first surface piercing rejected....hmmm...maybe then...I always thought Christina's were cool...and they'd look good with a VCH besides.
Oh well, I have plenty of time to figure that one out. It'll be smooth sailing other than the surface piercings, which kind of never really heal....we'll see, like I said.
As for my ink, it's...solidifying. I want to be sure. I'm incorporating elements of all that I love, which are animals and art, and also a sense of spirituality. I'm in no rush. I'll have that artwork for the rest of my life, so I might as well save up my money for the best artist and the best design(s). My fish and my lily need to just happen, though, they've both been solid since high school. The placement is a little iffy still...
I want my lily on my right leg, preferably near my ankle...but I don't want it too high as to make it impossible to hide, nor do I want it so low that it's torture to get. The rest of the Marauders have their tattoos between the ankle and the Achilles' tendon, and I'm flat up saying no to that. I want mine to have colour, and theirs are all black. The colour will fade terribly if I get it done in such a precarious spot. I was thinking closer to the back of my leg and up a bit, in the fleshy part. Low enough to hide in a tall boot with a sock.
BTW, FYI: I have a thing about being able to hide my mods. It's not something that's rooted directly to getting a job, but it has to do with my personal expression. For example, I wear a hoop in my nose most of the time, but if there's a place in which I feel I can't be myself or wish to hide it, I can change the jewelry and flip it up and no one's the wiser. The most visible of my piercings in that case are my ears, which hide conveniently under my hair. Also, ear piercings have got to be the most common piercing in the universe, so they aren't at all controversial other than that there are 3 holes in each.
My tongue will be rather hard to see, methinks. My nipples and belly button are a given to be hidden. The only other piercing that would have half a chance of being seen is my back piercing, should I decide to try again, and that takes care of itself as well.
Now, maybe one day, when I'm settled into a comfortable job and I'm comfortably answering my calling, I'll look into getting full sleeves. I think that I might do some work up around my shoulders, I love the idea of a partial chest piece and I've loved it for a long time, as somewhat dorky as my idea is; however, it's an idea that will hide, even under a V-neck.
I just like the idea of hiding it if I need to. My piercings are just that: MINE. And sometimes that expression is too personal to share. Sometimes I don't want people to see.
Most if not all of my ink will be hidden...and if I do decide to put ink down my arms, then it will be a design of mere aesthetics and not so much meaning...a design that I can stand to look at and also looks good.
Also, since I've dropped a ridiculous amount of weight in the past few weeks, I figure I might as well run with it and get the body I always knew was underneath the subcutaneous layer of fat. I don't want to be emaciatedly skinny, and I don't think that's possible, really, but I just don't want to be super skinny. I'm a real woman, dammit, and I'll either be a curvaceous and voluptuous goddess or a I'll be a curvaceous and ripped goddess. Might as well put those German genes to good use and increase my muscle strength (oh, so very slowly).
Haha, because it's not intimidating enough to simply be tall, now I want to be tall with biceps. And they were really easy to get, actually. I got a nice set of guns in just two weeks over in Europe hauling luggage. VIKING GODDESSES UNITE.
Too bad there's only one.
Also...dreadlocks have been on my mind....Maybe. Maybe not. Who knows. |
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